Saturday , 22 November 2014
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Why Donuts Piss Me Off

Box of DonutsWhen I was younger, I can remember going to a place called Aromonies Bakery in Jewett City, CT. They had the best cream and strawberry donuts in the world. Yes, the world…and you can bet that. I am not saying that I am old, but those donuts cost me $.25 a piece and they hit the spot. I loved getting a dozen for just a couple bucks. That shit rocked on a good Saturday morning.

Fast forward to 2012 and I am getting raped for donuts (not literally, I would hope I would would deserve a raping for more than just doughnuts). Donuts could set you back between $1.00-1.50 a PIECE! I know that inflation is a bitch, but this is out of control. I try to reason with myself when I want donuts. I think that with the Euro in it’s current crisis, the U.S. being in a slump, and the world economy down in general that perhaps Dunkin Donuts, Krispy Kreme and the others are just hurting. They need to get close to $12 for a dozen donuts. I also try to blame it on sugar prices and increasing labor costs, but then I realize I am trying to minimizing the situation at hand and that does no one any good.

I know that I need to go bigger and start a revolution. Our forefathers set the tone in this country when they stepped up and defeated the British. In fairness, the British did deserve it though. There needs to be a donut revolution. We need to overthrow the donut regime in the U.S. and show them we are not going to have our coffee with high priced donuts. If they think I am pissed about gas prices then they have no idea where I sit with my glazes, twists, or even my sour cream. Why can’t we have an Occupy Dunkin Donuts? We stand up for petty things like Wall Street raping us with their fancy numbers and trades, but we sit down for the donuts and coffee. This to me is completely backwards in a society known for carrying the little dogs and flipping me off in traffic.

I have thought about making my donuts myself and peddling them in a stand in front of my house between 6am-10am, but I am employed so I realized that won’t work out very well. I also thought about making a website and doing mail order donuts, but I found a roadblocks in the life expectancy of shipping them. I even thought about starting a charity called Donuts for Everyone for Under $.50 but the name just doesn’t roll off the tongue. As you can tell I am beside myself when it comes to this subject. What does a guy have to do just to get a reasonably priced donut?

If you have an idea on how I can resolve this issue let me know below. Maybe we can form a militia or something, but we need to start somewhere and soon before before they reach $2.00 and beyond.

Adam Mulholland
I am your average Joe. I have opinions, I have some jokes, and I am one of those guys that just had to have a blog so as many people (1-2 per day) could read my useless drivel. Introducing, my thoughts, right here at 2 Kilograms. I have developed an acute sense of smell for bullshit, sarcasm, and horses. Armed with a B.F.A. in Graphic Design, and enough information in PHP/MySQL to make a half-ass website, I forge my personal thoughts onto the unsuspecting internet visitor. By the time they are reading this part of my author bio I can feel assured that complete and utter disappointment has consumed you. I have written all over the internet (approximately 2 other websites). I am a creative person that enjoys tree forts, deviled eggs, and the occasional poor taste joke. I have visited over 40 countries, met all kinds of awesome people from around the world and enjoyed some of the finer points of life.

I think the cops already beat you to the "Occupy" movement in donut shops...