Politics

Electionwatch 2010: Let the Bullshit Begin!

---

Let the mudslinging and flag waving begin.  It’s a time when we’re barraged with images of really bad stuff, juxtaposed by some guy with a jacket over his shoulder doing really wholesome stuff.  If you’ve been avoiding the news, now’s the time to catch up.

The Muslim Hordes Have Invaded

Let me break it down for you.  Republicans need a wedge issue.  They’ve run out of gas with health care and Obama being a socialist.  Taxes are still low and they have no plan to fix the econony, besides giving the wealthy another tax break (not smart when people are still losing their homes).  What to do, what to do?  Eureka, shit on minorities…again!  They blew their load too early with immigration, so they have to move over to another group unable to defend themselves, the American Muslims.  Really, who would defend them?  It would be so easy and the religious right would just love it.

Apparently, some Muslims thought an arts, culture, education and recreation center for multifaith dialogue was a cool idea.  Put it near Ground Zero to represent the true face of peaceful, coexistent Muslims, not the crazy radicals.  It was such a good idea that Fox News gave it their thumbs up, until some slimy politicians saw the potential to use it to stir up the bible thumpers.  Since then, it’s been renamed by popular media the GROUND ZERO MOSQUE, even though it’s a mosque, like a YMCA is a church.  The party that thinks local policy should be left in the hands of local authorities and the constitution should be followed to the letter reneged on their most deepy held principles, yet again, for short-term political gains. 

You have the typical cast of fearmongers: Gingrich, Beck, Hannity, Palin, and Bachmann, falling over themselves to get in on this gravy train.  Some of the most insensitive shitheels in the business have been whining about the insensitivity of it all, even though they had no problem with it before.   Really, the only Republican I’ve seen speak out against the current strategy is that damned, principled Ron Paul, but then again, he’s not really a Republican or Tea Bagger (neo-con wearing a libertarian t-shirt).  He’s the closest to a true liberatian we have left.

They’ve also been throwing around the Ground Zero being “Hallowed (not hollowed, you dumbfucks) Ground” argument quite a bit.  They neglect to tell you there’s also a strip club two blocks from the site.  You can get a lap dance and a handjob, while remembering the day the world changed.  They’re also building a mall directly under Ground Zero.  You’ll be able to pick up some Fart in a Can from Spencer’s, with the site of the nation’s worst civilian attack right over your head.

All would be status quo, but it’s spreading.  Across America, red-blooded Americans have taken a break from being pissed off about having to pay taxes and Mexicans, to protest mosques, ’cause the teevee told ‘em to.  There’s also news reports that some guy stabbed a cabbie, because he was Muslim.  It’s starting to look xenophobic and hateful.

PROTIP:  Chase this Frankenstein off a cliff or the only votes you’ll be getting will be spelled W-A-S-P.

Relevant Issues, Currently MIA

The Economy – People are still broke and/or jobless.

Energy Policy – It’s been one of the hottest summers in recent history, with the highest energy prices.

Afghanistan – Just because it isn’t in the news, doesn’t mean guys aren’t still dying.

Nuclear Proliferation – Iran and North Korea are still being scamps.

Campaign Finance Reform – Did you know a Saudi oil company can drop a big wad of cash in a politicians pocket and the Supreme Court said it’s cool?

Net Neurality – Big money is threatening to make the intertubes pay tiered.

Marijuana Legalization – Hat tip to Adam.