Oddities

Masturbation Using the Cricket

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Masturbating has been a technique for men to release their divine chemicals into the world and relax a bit. It’s a true art for most aging males that we can only hope our sons will learn through the course of their lives. Some say every time you masturbate that God kills a kitten. If that was true I alone would have murdered the entire species. Form is one of the most important aspects in getting the idle fluid from inside to the outside world and finally birthing a handful of relief.

I was sitting in a meeting yesterday with a strong desire to release and I knew that I couldn’t be noticed while getting myself in the position to do so. I fell back to a method I have perfected since I was 11 years old in 6th grade. I call it the “cricket”. It is one of the most prolific techniques devised in my lifetime to get that much needed shaft time most guys are thinking about 50-312 times per day. Making it happen is simple but getting that delicate rhythm is the difficult part. Simple cross your legs and bounce the leg on top slightly, your package should be slightly between your crossed legs. Doing this correctly should feel like a stranger petting your penis.

Basic Steps:

• Sit in a stright position with back against the chair completely.
• Position one leg over the other in a closed fashion leaving no space between them and gently sandwiching wood in the pinch point.
• Bounce top leg lightly to begin blood movement.
• Bring it to a finish if you desire.
• Don’t make sudden noises like a moan.
• Don’t fall asleep after the big finish.

I have accidentally released over the years but the objective is not to. You want to bring yourself close to it but not quite crossing the line of making a mess with ejaculate. You want to keep the mind game going of “I’m going to” to “there it is gone” to build that stamina. If you just have to get rid of it though just excuse yourself and you should be able to finish in 30 seconds or less once you hit a private area.

Be certain you do not rock your top leg to fast as it will draw attention and could even make a noticeable sound to alert the folks around you. There is always a precaution to use when deciding this is the road you want to travel. Pet lightly and explode ONLY when needed privately. Doing it publicly will certainly almost get you fired or arrested. Use the cricket at your own discretion. I personally take no responsibility on how you do your cricket or drench a tissue.

While I wrote this article I have brought myself to near climax almost 3 times and now it’s time to go and finish.