How To

Blogging Basics: How To Blog Like An Asshole

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Since the beginning of time (1998 or so) people have made an array of blog postings that are phony, fake, or extremely stupid. Many people blog to collect Google Adsense, but in the end their blog is still dumb to read. Many people also have a commercialized blog and this is easy to tell because every single post is nothing more than a sales pitch on something completely unrelated. Then of course there is those who actually blog and they are decent but its always about a cat or collecting something. That’s really boring and you won’t get many subscribers that way. So by now you are probably craving to know how you blog successfully without everyone coming to your blog and thinking you are a douche bag (remember this isn’t about me, it’s about you).

This is where blogging like an asshole really pays off. People don’t want the cuteness or kindness some bloggers have to offer. Instead they want the off-beat and crude blog post that makes them want to comment even if it’s just to tell you that you’re an asshole. Let’s look at Advantages:

• People will take notice
• Your points will almost be read
• You will vent unneeded anger
• You might achieve Louis Blackness
• You can write what you want
• You may get popular

But let’s also look at the Disadvantages:

• You will be known as “That Asshole that Blogs”
• It could leak into your everyday life
• People will eventually hate some of you
• You will get pummeled by non-assholes
• You might find out you really are an asshole

Rubbing people the wrong way is like a fine wine, it can take the right taste over time to really make people irate. The good news about that is they keep coming back to defend their position. So let’s look at a list of how to perfect the asshole inside you and get that monster writing.

• Don’t know your audience, rant about everything until you piss enough people off…so far it’s working for me
• Forget political correctness, for example if someone is gay, the word fag is OK to use as long as you are trying to be an asshole
• Disregard sensitive topics. Abortion, drugs, gay marriage, and bestiality should never be off the table
• Form incorrect opinions, people hate when people are dead wrong but stick to their guns
• Be the Devil’s Advocate’s Advocate, never take a position and keep running in assholish type circles
• Forget you are human from time to time and just go nuts
• Never say sorry, being wrong but right in your mind will give you a great feeling
• Don’t give-in to non-assholes, NEVER
• Ignore comments wanting your feedback or approval, this pisses people off even more
• Use extremely insensitive words even if the sensitive words are readily available
• Always push blame for what you said onto someone else
• Twist people’s words until you can’t twist anymore, people love having words put into their mouths
• Refer to Facebook for any excuse you need to make your point, in case it doesn’t work then use Wikileaks
• Avoid taking any responsibility for anything you may have or may not have said or done

This is a fine list to get you started on being the biggest asshole in the blogging world. Remember we take zero responsibility for the monster you become. We simply give you the guidelines on how to build your wonderful reputation online. Of course if anything shall come back to 2kgs.com for your reckless behavior Facebook and Wikileaks made us write this. If all else fails to alleviate us from responsibility we will ignore your comments or emails and potentially your forum posts but then again a good flame war never hurt anyone, right?