Author Archive
Happy 4th of July on Behalf of 2Kgs
It’s time for 4th of July, American style in just a day. I couldn’t be happier to celebrate the festive holiday and get drunk in honor of the men and men that died for the freedom from the taxing assholes of Britain. I think we can be thankful that we are hardly taxed anymore and [...]
Softball Elites Can Kiss My Ass
Years ago I tended to ignore the snobbish father fucking pricks that thought they were amazing at a game of softball because to them it wasn’t just about banging mediocre chicks and getting drunk around the diamond. No, it was about hitting the big leagues and getting into Ivory League scholarships that they give for [...]
Why Donuts Piss Me Off
When I was younger, I can remember going to a place called Aromonies Bakery in Jewett City, CT. They had the best cream and strawberry donuts in the world. Yes, the world…and you can bet that. I am not saying that I am old, but those donuts cost me $.25 a piece and they hit [...]
Black People Can’t Float
I hear a lot of crazy things everywhere I go. Sometimes it’s in the grocery store, the gas station, or even at my job. The craziest thing so far is that black people can’t float. Now I need to explain how this happened and why, trust me it was more innocent than you probably expect. [...]
Getting Laid in a Tree Fort
When I was really young and just able to get myself into trouble I stumbled onto tree forts, also known as tree houses. I didn’t build tree houses because those were for fags (by fags, I don’t mean gay people…you may reference Louis C.K. All Chewed Up as he gives the best definition of the [...]
2Kgs Racism Free for the Rest of Black History Month 2012
I know many readers were awaiting the official announcement from 2 Kilograms that we were going to put our dogs in the fight to celebrate the historic month of February, and for you, this is it. As many people around the world look forward to celebrating the vast accomplishments of blacks, we too cherish February. [...]
Why Mars is Dumb
I used to love Mars until I was 27 years old. I got tired of the failed space missions and this ridiculous hunt for life. After all, a search for life on Mars just doesn’t make sense. Even if we found life on Mars it’s going to be stupid. It’s not like the life there [...]
8 Reasons I Should Go Fuck Myself
I gave you several reasons why I shouldn’t go fuck myself, but I think that as a man I should be fair to give you reasons of why I should go fuck myself. I am a firm believer of seeing both sides of issues the best possible way. I have deserved being told to indulge [...]
8 Reasons I Shouldn’t Go Fuck Myself
Yes, you read the title right. Yes, it is also that kind of blog. Yes, I am handsome, witty, and packing. This isn’t about that though. This is about my unfiltered answer to those that insist that I should indeed go fuck myself. Sure, I can be clever and rub people the wrong way to [...]
Herman Cain: Leaving Over Some Ass
Herman Cain. What can be said about the man who is an extraordinary multi-tasker, past presidential contender, pizza CEO, book author, financial tax mastermind, and many other things? The man announced today that he has suspended his campaign. It’s a sad day for many, and it didn’t need to happen. The reasons for suspending the [...]
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