Wednesday , 26 November 2014
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An Open Letter to Whoever Got This Tattoo

Dear Whoever Got This Tattoo,

I want to personally thank you from the bottom of my heart for getting this, and I mean that in all sincerity.  Because before seeing this, I was never actually able to explain to people why I think there are individuals in this country who need to be legally castrated.  I’ve never seen a picture that more accurately depicts that idea than this tattoo, because if it says anything, it says “please cut off my balls to prevent any chance of me raising a child.” 

I however want to be clear about something here, I am NOT a person who doesn’t like taboo jokes. As a matter a fact, they hold a special place in my heart, and I think when done correctly, they are hilarious.  I’m not even against 9-11 jokes, I’ve heard a few in my day that I thought were great (as a matter a fact I tweeted one this morning). However this isn’t even clever, let alone funny. And on TOP of that, the best part about getting on stage and trying a joke that is taboo is that if you do it a few times, and it isn’t working…YOU CAN STOP DOING IT.  This tattoo is going to be pretty hard to turn into a picture of something else, and personally I just hope whatever limb this is attached to gets cut off completely, and for that matter it happens by accident or by ninja. The issue I have with this person is not that the joke isn’t funny (which it isn’t), but that there is actually someone who is a big enough piece of shit to get the tattoo in the first place.

9-11 jokes are OK, if only because they are a way of showing that we’ve moved on as a country and we aren’t gong to let radical terrorists kill our spirit.  However this tattoo might as well just say “Fuck You America” under it. I don’t want to sound like I’m taking a page from the actual terrorists who were behind the attacks, but can we all agree this person should be killed? I’m being serious, would it actually be a bad thing if we put this guy in the middle of Madison Square Garden like the Roman’s used to do at the Coliseum and just fed him to lions? Because I’d pay money to see that. If that’s too extreme, we should scarlet letter this guy, except instead of making him wear a big A on his clothes, we should get a branding iron.

My point is that in America there are some people in this country we shouldn’t let have children just so we can wipe their gene pool from our populous. This is Exhibit A.